I have always struggled with the fact that I was more uptight or angry than others in a stressful situation! I have always wished that I could be more laid back and handle myself differently when I’m angry. I have tried supplements, yoga, exercise and self help books but never anything that had truly changed my way of thinking!
Flash forward to the present day, AS IN TODAY…… I was homeschooling my children and my youngest started to have a temper tantrum and freak out but I was able to calm her down by BREATHING and talking calmly! What would have normally ended with her storming off to her room and slamming her door or me making her go there with a lot of yelling and tears was turned around in less than 5 minutes! Within 5 minutes she was doing her work calmly and within 10 minutes we were laughing! I have to say that it is these type of victories that make me realize that all the work that I am doing in my own mind is paying off and making it all worth it!
What got me to the point where I absolutely knew I needed a change..
With all of the stress of this pandemic and my inability to calm myself down and see things clearly, I had a HUGE breaking point! Without getting into too much detail, I had someone (whom I thought was a friend) say some pretty horrible things to me! Things that I vented to someone I trusted were said out loud and my world came crashing down! With my inability to fully trust people, my defenses were at the highest they had ever been because my trust had been broken, worse than ever before! In this conversation, the topic of how I deal with situations was brought to the spotlight, not in a very kind way, but regardless I was extremely hurt and had a hard time believing that this person was “trying to help”! I decided, after many days of crying a lot, feeling broken and having severe anxiety that… ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH!
I had to work on my own mind and see things differently!
This was the worst I had felt in a long time and I decided that I needed to work on myself! With the help of a facebook friend that I have never actually met in person I found guidance in meditation, card readings(affirmations), mindfulness, 2 amazing self help books and got right to work helping myself out of the rut that I was in. I am not a reader but found that I couldn’t put either of these books down! For me to read an entire book in 3 days is unheard of, but it happened. The book that began my path to freeing my mind is:
In this book, Gabrielle Bernstein talks so much about how to change your way of thinking and really loving who you are! With many guided meditations she leads your mind to believe that you are not alone in this world. Whether you are spiritual, religious or just want to be the best version of yourself she helps you ask for this help! If you are struggling I strongly suggest purchasing this book.
The next book has helped me find and release some seriously trapped emotions and made my mind feel clear and not cloudy! I have done A LOT of work on myself and it is showing so much in my daily life. My anger has been knocked down from a 10 to a 2, my ability to breath and calm myself down before yelling has been a huge success! I actually can’t remember a time in the last 12 days that I even raised my voice to my kids, let alone yell at them. A LOT of breathing and relaxing myself instead of acting on impulse! My 11 year old has now started to remember to breath before getting upset, which is also another HUGE VICTORY! This book is definitely out of the ordinary and will be harder for some people to grasp but I can’t stress enough how much it has helped me. I’ve been able to release so many negative emotions and fill my heart with happier thoughts and positive emotions! Here is the amazing book:
In closing, I will say that being angry, uptight, quick to defend yourself against another persons opinion of you and depressed is NOT THE WAY TO LIVE! I’m not trying to say that I’ll never have any of those feelings but I have learned to respond differently to them and breath! I have learned to stop, breath and meditate before responding to a situation that I normally would get upset by! I have cleared my mind and realized that if someone else is judging my character that it is on them and not me! I have learned so much about how to see things in a different way and I’m excited about the changes that I have already made and will make as my life goes on! I will not allow myself to go back to being angry and miserable even if it means I have to look silly by pausing and doing a breathing or meditation in the middle of an uncomfortable situation. I am on the path to a happier me and have learned so much about myself and know that I have the power to succeed! I’m happy to go into detail about these techniques if you have questions or connect with you if you are on the same path! Thank you for taking the time out to read this and I hope you have a great day.